To Laugh, Cry, or Howl?

“Having a two year old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for.” –Jerry Seinfeld

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” –Franklin P. Jones

*****

I love my kids. I really do. There are days, however, when I’m not sure if I’m going to lose my marbles or if they’re already gone; days when I’m not sure if I should laugh at their antics, hide in a corner and cry, or howl at the moon, because, well, they’re not listening anyways, so I may as well just be ridiculous and maybe that will get their attention!

Here are a few things that my kids do; some of them drive me crazy, others are just funny:

-when one of my Grade 1 kids goes through all the pencils in the cup near her desk and either pulls the lead out of breaks it off. Of. Every. Single. Pencil. And then holds them up and asks if she can go sharpen a pencil because none of them work.

-when one of my kids raises their hand as soon as I’ve finished explaining the directions (which I’ve done at least twice, using different vocabulary, and held up whatever we’re going to be working on, explaining each part in detail) and asks what they’re supposed to do.

-all my students want to use the supplies on someone else’s desk—which results in all the pencils ending up in the front row, or all the blue markers in one bin, which then results in Miss Nutt having to put out lots of fires.

-when asked what his favourite part of Christmas was, one of my Grade 2 students (who is Papua New Guinean, mind you) responded, “Playing in the snow and skating on the ice.”

-my Spanish 2 class is writing and performing skits about going to a market and bartering with a vendor to buy a gift (jewelry, ceramics, leather goods)for someone. One of the groups decided to buy me something. I was flattered…until I realized that the shoppers only brought 30 pesos with them! (That’s less than 3 USD, in case you aren’t up on the current exchange rate.) …Um, thanks guys, I love you, too.

-talking to a first grader one morning:
Me: "Why are you so crazy today?"
Kid: "Well, this morning I thought I was drinking my Milo (sort of like hot chocolate), but it was my mom's coffee!"
Me: "Well, that sure explains a lot!"

-I'm still chuckling over this conversation:
Kid: "Miss Nutt, my tummy hurts."
Me: "Ok, do you need to use the toilet?"
Kid: "No, I'm all right."
Two minutes later...
Kid: (in a slightly panicked voice) "Miss Nutt, I have to fart!"
Me: "I think you'd better go to the toilet now."
Kid: "I don't think I need to."
Thirty seconds later...
Kid: "Miss Nutt, I need to go to the toilet!"
Me: "Go, go!"
He runs for the door, but just before he leaves the room, he stops suddenly and turns around with a big grin on his face, "Too late!"
Me: (trying not to bust out laughing) "Ok, then..."

Two of my boys--they keep me on my toes!